Why I Stayed

(United Methodist)

After years of hesitation to write this post because I was not sure I could adequately explain myself, I finally have decided to share with anyone interested why I stayed in the United Methodist Church. During those days in 2022 and 2023, when so many friends were working through their own decisions about where to land, and many of them left for Global Methodism or something else, I started getting the question, “Why are you staying?” My ethical commitments do not align with progressive United Methodism and what seems to be quasi-official denominational positions (I’m called a traditionalist) on the topics that are front-and-center in our culture wars. I also think that the ground our denomination has tried to hold, where traditionalists, centrists, and progressives can stay together in the same big tent is inherently unstable and politically either naive or cynical. The current unstable solution won’t last long.

So, why did I stay? Here’s my shot at trying to answer that question.

A caveat before I get to my task: I feel absolutely no rancor toward people who have left the UMC. We remain members of the same Body of Christ. It is perfectly understandable to me that so many, laity and clergy, finally said, “Enough!” and left. Although we all have opinions about who had and now has the upper hand, there have been no winners in our denominational divorce. The relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ who have departed for other bodies remain deeply important to me. I believe the split was providential, but for what exact reasons, I don’t know. As Abraham Lincoln said in his second inaugural address, “The Almighty has His own purposes.” I’m at peace with trusting God to work out those purposes, therefore determined to stay in close fellowship with people who no longer share my denominational identity.

Likewise, I’m committed to stay in relationship with people inside the denomination with whom I have strong disagreements. I admit, it’s discouraging to go to United Methodist meetings and be reminded, not in so many words but with the clear message, “We want you (traditionalists) to stay, but you really don’t fit here.” Or, maybe more accurately, “You fit here as long as you don’t make an issue of certain topics.” Like we all do, I have lifelong friends with whom I do not agree. I think it’s better to keep working at honest conversations in Christian love than to give up.

Now, to the purpose of this post. Why did I stay UMC?

(1) It’s my family. I was baptized in the Ashland (Kansas) Methodist Church at about two months old. My dad went into the Methodist, then United Methodist, ministry, when I was about 8 years old. He was well into middle age by this time and had no formal education, so he went through the Course of Study (I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Course of Study folk). In those days Methodist preachers, at least in the part of the world where we lived, moved frequently. We didn’t live near family. I’m at the tail end of the birth order and my parents were older when I was born, so I didn’t really know my grandparents. I was kind of a rootless preacher’s kid. The church was and has always been my family. This is biblical, of course, but it’s also, frankly, existential for me. We always lived in rural places and very small towns in my growing-up years. I love little country churches and the salt of the earth folk who embody them.

(2) Not surprisingly, given #1, God worked powerfully in my life through the quiet witness of United Methodist saints, mostly lay but some clergy. In Miltonvale, Kansas, Irene Catlin, taught our Sunday School class. Most of the time it was just three of us teenage boys. She was always there. I don’t remember a thing she said in Sunday School, but I remember her consistent presence (her silver hair), her level gaze, her faithfulness, her quiet witness. I could talk about others, like Harold and Neva Shoemaker or, in another time, George and Wanda Tittsworth. God worked quietly and powerfully through the many touches of these and other saints.

On the clergy side there is Jack Fogleman, a fixture in the old Kansas West conference. He served twice as a district superintendent. I was a freshman in college when he invited me to come talk with him about ordained ministry. After a few years and some twists and turns in my life, he put me to work in a three-point charge (three churches) in Marion County, Kansas, where I met some of the best people on the planet. I had several significant conversations with him as I tried to work through some of my issues with the UMC. He was honest with me. He loved the Lord Jesus with all his heart. He wasn’t necessarily happy with everything going on in the denomination, but it was where God had called him to serve and he served happily. Jack exuded a steady witness to the gospel. A real model for me.

(3) We all have to be somewhere. This point is obvious, of course, but it’s easy to lose in the spiritual rootlessness of our age. In seminary, I moved from being a Methodist by tradition to becoming a Wesleyan/United Methodist by conviction. I’ve devoted myself to studying the relevant history and theology of this movement. John Wesley and his brother and fellow travelers were determined to be scriptural Christians and I am convinced that they were on to something crucial and I want to follow them as they followed Christ. I admire John Calvin and Martin Luther and other leaders, and I have benefitted from their insights (as have we all), even though I don’t agree with certain points of doctrine they advanced. I’m a Wesleyan. I circle back to #1.

(4) All churches have problems. I follow Ryan Burge (Graphs about Religion) and others who do social science research on churches. Mainline Protestantism is in freefall, to be sure, but every church has problems. Scandals. Conflicts. For the most part, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. So, I stay put.

This point is probably the weakest of my reasons. I admit to a troubled conscience. But…

(5) I have gained some clarity recently by reading through the books of Kings. I caught something in 2 Kings that, I’m embarrassed to say, I’d never really thought about. In 2 Kings 23:4, “The king [Josiah] commanded the high priest Hilkiah, to bring out of the temple of the Lord all the vessels made for Baal, for Asherah, and for all the host of heaven.” In verse 6: “He brought out the image of Asherah from the house of the Lord… Verse 7: “He broke down the houses of the male temple prostitutes that were in the house of the Lord…” Really? All of this stuff was in (or around) the house of the Lord? The temple? I think I caught a glimpse of the reality of the situation. The priests of the Lord, the singers, and the keepers of the temple, kept the sacrifices, trimmed the lamps, replaced daily the bread of the Presence, therefore were working in and around this mixture of what, according to scripture, would have been an utter abomination to the Lord.

I do realize the implications of what I’m saying here and I am by no means trying to draw a parallel to our contemporary conditions. But it has made me think. God is shockingly patient and merciful with his people. It doesn’t mean that we excuse error and unfaithfulness, but it has reminded me of the need for me also to be patient and peaceable. And it has given me a good picture of the need to settle in, maybe like the prophet Jeremiah did in his day, to let God work out his purposes.

(6) Finally, I think God spoke to me about staying UMC. I have friends who, much more easily than I, say, “The Lord spoke to me about…” But I admit, I have experienced a handful of critical moments where I do believe God spoke directly. No audible voice, but a sense, a lasting sense that I have tried to test with constant prayer and searching the scriptures. This one happened several years ago. I was beginning to realize the inevitability of the demise of United Methodism, at least as we once knew it. And I heard God say, “Gather the sheep.” I had no idea what it meant. As I have tried to be faithful day to day I have continued to ask, “OK, Lord, what does gathering the sheep mean in practical terms? What do I do?” I have some ideas, but the main thing is, I had the sense that it meant staying put.

If you left United Methodism and wonder why people like me stay, maybe these thoughts will help you make sense of what seems insensible. If you are United Methodist, but unsure about our future and your place, maybe these thoughts will encourage you.